Buyadog

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him
and never say its not quite as good as his mothers

..then buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour,
for as long and wherever you want .

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care
about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies.

If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to
warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually

BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come
when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair
all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only
comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence
is solely to ensure his happiness.,

..then buy a cat!

Now be honest, you thought I was gonna say... then marry a man, didn't you?